steve tells the tale of a girl who just had a skin.
shottysteve
join our rust server! connect 104.129.132.229:28316
huge thanks to the fine actors in this video.
gunching - steve
jo - tammy
foths - simp guy
delayed - guy guy
swaws - guy guy guy
zive - guy guy guy guy
chirs - guy guy guy guy guy
nabebl - guy guy guy guy guy guy
ripsick - guy guy guy guy guy guy guy
as well as the fine audio provided by elizark.
parody of "just a friend" by mr. biz markie in counter-strike: global offensive
*****LYRICS*****
(Intro)
Yo moms is so ugly her teeth look like she ate a flashbang,
Oooohhhh
Yo mama so fat she thought banana was a fruit,
It is bro, (yeah like on italy)
Oh I got one, Yo mama so poor, for your birthday she got you a gut knife field-tested!
(bro thats kinda messed up)
(Cue track)
Have you ever played a game where you met somebody,
That was cracked like a cracker, and whack like karate?
Let me tell ya a story of my online flick,
With my lady friend in counterstrike, my online chick.
The way that I met her was on inferno in comp,
We were both at the top it was a 10-2 stomp
I just won a clutch I was pourin' with sweat
And outta nowhere i heard a voice in my headset
She said “that was insane, can i add you on steam?”
My buddy called me a simp and she said “don’t be mean”
I added her back, and we continued our game,
She got a 2 piece collat, she put flusha to shame
I hit a couple flicks and she was enthused,
I said, "ez clutch" she said, "nice job defuse" *“bro stop simping”*
After the game, we rapped for a while,
But then I saw something strange on her steam profile,
She had a fac new (knife) named heart young tim,
I asked her who that, she said, "Nobody, it’s just a skin"
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing
You, you got what I need but you say it's just a skin,
And you say it's just a skin, oh baby (x2)
So I took her word, didn’t wanna lose on time,
I thought just havin' a skin didn’t make her non-prime,
'Cause I got skins and that's a fact,
Like my p2 sand dune, and my hat,
Forget about that, let's go into the story,
About this girl with a knife in her inventory,
So we started talkin' every day on discord and AIM,
Spendin' a lot of time in and out of game so I’d bhoppin out the
Friend zone and then we could give it a whirl,
How it's gonna be when she was my e-girl
Everything was great, and that’s not just talk,
I had no idea I was in for a shock
I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt,
There was a heat in the room I felt my keyboard melt,
I told her that I liked her and the message said read,
A couple minutes went by, and then she finally said:
You, you got what I need, but I think we should stay friends,
I don’t want this thing to end,
Please, just tell me the truth, is it really just a skin,
Is this just because of tim,
She said tim? Excuse me? And then she was offline.
I didn’t hear from her for a long time.
A week went by until I finally heard back.
I said i was just a toe and you were my tic tac,
I miss you so much, please can you forgive me,
I made a mistake and ruined what could be,
I said I need to talk to you and I gave her a ring,
But there was no answer, and then I heard a ding,
She said Tim was my nickname on steam in the past,
I have feelings for you, but I wanted this to last,
I said then please answer the call, I need to know,
If I’m the man for you or just another joe,
This time she picked up, to my surprise,
Oh, snap! Right in front of my eyes,
The girl I fell in love with was actually a guy,
I thought for a sec, and said I guess I’m bi,
I said you,
you got what I need,
Even though you are a he,
You are everything to me
Oh baby, you...
Thanks for stickin around guys.